These are the days
Natalie Merchant not Van Morrison, Pinocchio & motherhood right now
“These are the days” is a refrain used in the digital momiverse that makes me eye-roll every-time I see it on my screen. My back actually tensed up with my shoulders to my earlobes when I wrote it above. I wince because it is used to guilt moms into savoring the shitty, ugly, messy and remind us that the time is fleeting with young kids. A well intentioned reminder that should be welcome when you are in the hell of it but is twisted to guilt you. It is so messy & layered in the same way the “you only get 18 summers” momaganda washes thru our feeds each year.
But forgive me. Cause here I am… using such tactics to lure you into an email. I will caveat though that I look forward fondly to ALL the summers with my kids. I don’t fall for it. Actually I look forward to summer 2041 when I will have a 20 year old and a 28 year old - they will be inviting me on vacation 🤞🤞🤞.
Yesterday July 5th, Felix turned two. In my eyes turning two is bittersweet. That threshold where he is no longer my baby but now a real boy- just like Pinocchio always dreamed of.
He runs, he dances, he kicks soccer balls and he honestly fills my heart with some sort of joy only he is able to.
We really were not planning or expecting to have another child. Mario was six years old and practically a young adult under the circumstances. Because of this I like to believe that Felix was cosmically delivered to us to fit our circumstances.
His mood and spirit is that of someone so far who is just happy to be along for the ride. Happy to be invited, happy to be included and he feels fortunate to be here, just as we are fortunate to be his family.
We chose his name before even really diving into the meaning but after a quick google search learned that the Latin origin meaning is "happy, fortunate, lucky" a perfect fit.
We are in two different universes with our two boys. One in the terrible-eights, or whatever you call this pre pre-teen angst and desire for complete autonomy and less than stellar decision making and the other entering what they call the terrible-twos but I am expecting will just be continued cruise control with Mr. Charming (again with the 🤞🤞).
This summer I have more time on my schedule for momming- a lite load of work and meetings sprinkled in each week and the ongoing management of Casa Madre are allowing for a more attentive and deliberate summer as MOM. Which feels necessary with an 8.5 year-old who is a basketful of smart and thoughtful questions, destruction, stacks of books & science experiments gone wrong. Mario is mostly booked in summer camps and Felix has his nanny-share 3x a week. So when we aren’t in that routine I am trailing them as they rip thru the neighborhood on scooters, make messes and ask for more popsicles.
My eyes are really open to this time of focus - while they both are not in school and our days can and should be filled with fun. I feel like I am hitting my stride as a mom right now for the summer- and enjoying the small things for as long as they feel enjoyable. And when they don’t I will switch it up and bring in more work. But right now the work I am doing is remembering to enjoy this. Which honestly is a constant reminder.
In other news, as of last night you can now also find me on THREADS, what the NYT is calling a “Twitter killer app”. It is the new text based app from Instagram which I am thinking of as “safe twitter” or “old twitter”. I obvi love to share so lets see where this goes! Find me here.
xx Ly
PS I hope you clicked that link above so you could watch that 90’s era 10,000 Maniacs video here it is again for you :)
Lydia, I loved this post so much and appreciate your candor! I too am consistently hearing, "appreciate this now", "it all goes so fast" and at times it can be hella annoying! BUT more recently, I am relishing in this "motherhood" moment. Raf is in pre-school & Bruno is in daycare - this is the first summer with this set up and it quickly came upon us that we would have one of them at home for 3 weeks between the end of June & beginning of July. In place of continuing to stay home and try and work we opted for a change: change in scenery, hosting a guest, & I even opted in for Janet Jackson! With my MIL passing the end of last year I've found comfort in the craziness that is life, because this is all we get right?!
Parenthood is a lot of f*cking work but it's also all so great and a privilege that not all get to experience, especially with the flexibility. I try to hold that close.
Thanks again for the honesty. <3